Wednesday 18 March 2009

Holy Guano Batman !

Now we've all heard about some of the bizzare items that people have composted or grown things in, the one that sticks out in my mind every time I order my garlic, chilli, crispy chicken, is the Chinese paddy farmers who use human feaces to improve their rice crops, I wince like I just sucked the life out of a lemon every time I think of it, but then remembering the smell of the aforementioned has me bashing the buttons of my mobile to get through to Hi's takeaway like there's no tomorrow.




Now, if you were in China and you were served a bowl of rice, fresh from the field, could you or would you eat it ? knowing that ?



I don't have many days off sick, never have. Always in good health despite doing everything that the surgeon general says I shouldn't. But I reckon this "health" stems from childhood. My parents let me play in the street or best, in the valley next to our old house, which had tree swings and a river at the bottom, polluted as hell mind, I played out in the rain, I hid in snowdrifts, I swung from trees, I ate worms, I ate rocksalt when the roads were gritted, I sampled coal, soil, slugs and my grans rhubarb pie. I think this kept my iummune and auto repair facilities ready for the future.




But even I have my limits and Bat Cr*p is one of them.






I'll next help you picture a scene; you're sat with your partner at a linen covered table, there's a half finished bottle of white wine, the cream roof to floor length drapes are fluttering lightly in the breeze, the view through the doors is out to a sun lit grassed slope that finishes at a rippling silver river. It's peace and quiet you'd bottle if you could.



The waiter arrives, "Your desserts Sir and Madame, Strawberry Cheesecake"

You: "Wow, this looks wonderful"

Waiter: "Yes sir, home grown strawberries as well"



You: "Really ? Very impressive"


Waiter "That's not all, the strawberries are grown in compost, made from the food wastes generated by the restaraunt"

You: "Brilliant, let me sample it (chomp,chomp)"

Waiter: "And bat guano....."


I'm afraid I don't know how to write the necessary sounds here, but it might sound like the clatter of dishes hitting the floor, silverware clinking together, glasses smashing and running feet ended with a liquidy cough. Something like that.


Rocky and the team have the pleasure of knowing that this could be the case, food wastes generated are already being composted on site at a very, very picturesque, popular hi-end restaraunt, that just happend to have 9 species of bats in the old buildings. Bat Guano is a nutritous material and will help to complement the nutritional values of the composted food wastes, the plan for the future, to add the Bat wastes with the food wastes... and continue to grow the food.



I love food waste, compost growing stories, but this one in particular.


Rocky.

2 comments:

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  2. Is that because the bat guano tastes so good???

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