Holy Guano Batman !

Now we've all heard about some of the bizzare items that people have composted or grown things in, the one that sticks out in my mind every time I order my garlic, chilli, crispy chicken, is the Chinese paddy farmers who use human feaces to improve their rice crops, I wince like I just sucked the life out of a lemon every time I think of it, but then remembering the smell of the aforementioned has me bashing the buttons of my mobile to get through to Hi's takeaway like there's no tomorrow.




Now, if you were in China and you were served a bowl of rice, fresh from the field, could you or would you eat it ? knowing that ?



I don't have many days off sick, never have. Always in good health despite doing everything that the surgeon general says I shouldn't. But I reckon this "health" stems from childhood. My parents let me play in the street or best, in the valley next to our old house, which had tree swings and a river at the bottom, polluted as hell mind, I played out in the rain, I hid in snowdrifts, I swung from trees, I ate worms, I ate rocksalt when the roads were gritted, I sampled coal, soil, slugs and my grans rhubarb pie. I think this kept my iummune and auto repair facilities ready for the future.




But even I have my limits and Bat Cr*p is one of them.






I'll next help you picture a scene; you're sat with your partner at a linen covered table, there's a half finished bottle of white wine, the cream roof to floor length drapes are fluttering lightly in the breeze, the view through the doors is out to a sun lit grassed slope that finishes at a rippling silver river. It's peace and quiet you'd bottle if you could.

The waiter arrives, "Your desserts Sir and Madame, Strawberry Cheesecake"

You: "Wow, this looks wonderful"

Waiter: "Yes sir, home grown strawberries as well"

You: "Really ? Very impressive"

Waiter "That's not all, the strawberries are grown in compost, made from the food wastes generated by the restaraunt"

You: "Brilliant, let me sample it (chomp,chomp)"

Waiter: "And bat guano....."


I'm afraid I don't know how to write the necessary sounds here, but it might sound like the clatter of dishes hitting the floor, silverware clinking together, glasses smashing and running feet ended with a liquidy cough. Something like that.


Rocky and the team have the pleasure of knowing that this could be the case, food wastes generated are already being composted on site at a very, very picturesque, popular hi-end restaraunt, that just happend to have 9 species of bats in the old buildings. Bat Guano is a nutritous material and will help to complement the nutritional values of the composted food wastes, the plan for the future, to add the Bat wastes with the food wastes... and continue to grow the food.

I love food waste, compost growing stories, but this one in particular.


Rocky.

Certifiably.....

What's the hardest thing you ever studied for or worked to acheive ?

Mine was my motorbike licence. I failed it three times. If you've ever taken it you'll understand, its a real nightmare. Not only can you fail the test because of your own idiocy, but someone elses.

I'd had my bike, a Suzuki, a blue and white Japanese Plastic Rocket, for weeks. I took my first test within days of owning it. I failed. Why ? Because the test was in the depths of winter and an emergency stop on an icy road was only going to end one way. Down.


The next time I took the test a landrover pulled out of a side street and I nearly had to ride up a lamp post, over a bus stop and through a hedge to avoid becoming another statistic. They failed me for that too. The third, I was so petrified that I could fail for the most ridiculous reason, I rode too slowly and indeed failed again for being too cautious. I finally passed on my fourth attempt. By this time I'd just about given up the hope that I'd have an examiner with an inch of common sense, so I just rode relaxed and presumed I'd fail. Nope... passed.

This was by far the hardest examination or certifiction I'd tried to pass, it took me a huge amount of effort, scores of extra lessons, four test fees, days off work, a fair amount of time in theory study and most importantly my wasted money. All that time and my shiny new bike sat waiting for the entirity - goading me.

Composting has it's certifications too. One in particular, PAS100. PAS 100 is like a kite mark, or standard mark you're likely to find printed somewhere on a bag of compost you'd pick up in the local BnQ or garden centre. It's there to tell you that the product you're buying is quality muck. You need to know it's quality and this standard tells you so, if you were inclined to look a little further into it that is. Truth is, you walk in pick up a bag, pay at the counter walk out and let the bag split as you load it into the back of the wifes baby chariot and never actually look for a certification at any point. You just trust the pack you buy, becuase of it's packaging and the fact it's on sale where you expected it to be.

The bag you buy was probably produced by some organisation somewhere who are composting large amounts of (usually) green wastes, using a huge scale operation, millions of pounds worth of investment and massive machines. But you'd expect that.



To get that compost onto that shelf, you need certifiaction and accreditation to a nationally recognised standard. PAS100. You can imagine it takes a lot of care, a lot of effort and it takes a large amount of money for the manufacturer of the compost to achieve. But does it have to ?




Late January and we've a training session at a University. There's 3 groups involved in the training session. The catering staff, the grounds staff, and management. Very simple, catering staff produce the food wastes and load the composter daily. They add woodchip that the grounds staff bring, the grounds staff take away the compost. The management watch and listen and are my contacts. Simple.

The operation gets going and the staff work with the instructions, the aim simply, to recycle food wastes on site at the University. Stop waste going to landfill and reduce costs. It's not Rocket science! Simple straightforward waste disposal with a useable end product.

As part of our day to day operation we like to test things, my engineer loves testing things, mainly my patience, today my senior engineer wants some compost samples for testing purposes from client operations. I ask my University contact would he mind ramming a jiffy bag full ? Posting to me and I'll send it for sampling. He did. I did.

We spent quite a lot of money on testing his sample, you wouldn't believe you could spend that much looking at a bag of brown muck, but apparently you can.

The 117 or something tests that were done, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass ...... . I didn't send the sample to find this out, my intentions were to find out nutrient levels so the University could tell the grounds staff what plants would be best suited to it, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass... PAS100. Blood and stomach pills! (as my mother used to say) It's just passed PAS100 !

Ring ring.... ring ring..... ring ring ... "Hello it's Rocky you'll not believe this, but that sample you sent me....."

Absolutely brilliant. It wasn't their or indeed our intentions, but it would appear that food waste composting, some good instruction and the right piece of equipment can bring some surprising results.

We've since had many more tests done, on operations who aren't trying to make headlines, guess what ? Doesn't take a genius does it ?

Rocky